Labels. What's their purpose? I'm asked about my sexuality regularly, and it seems like all anyone wants to know about it is what I call it. Not about how it feels to be constantly belittled, or ignored, or left out, nor how it feels to be told that I'm an attention-seeker, or that I just want to be more interesting, or that I'm just fishing for boners from boys. Just what I label myself.
Sometimes I call myself "bisexual", sometimes I prefer "pansexual". Sometimes I just go for "queer". There are things that I love and hate about all of these identifiers, and so find it difficult to fit into one box. Bisexual is sometimes (wrongly) equated to transphobic, but is the easiest for straight people to understand. Pansexual is sometimes seen as "special snowflake syndrome", but is seen as inclusive to all genders. And when I tell a straight person that I'm queer, they tell me that that's offensive and a slur and a word that I shouldn't use (side note for you heteros - I wouldn't refer to a member of the LGBT+ community as queer unless you know that they are 100% okay with that label), even though it's now reclaimed by a lot of the community as an umbrella identifier.
Long story short, I am romantically and sexually attracted to all genders. This doesn't mean that I'll fuck anything with a pulse, nor that I'm trying to fuck you/your girlfriend/your boyfriend/everyone. It means that when I'm attracted to someone, it doesn't matter what gender they are. I'd say that by default my preference is people with vaginas, but honestly it depends very much on how I'm feeling. Sometimes I'm really feeling people with penises, sometimes I'm way more into people with vaginas, and sometimes it's fairly equal.
Not sure what my point here is, but I felt like I had to write this. I suppose it's that labels aren't everything and that if you aren't sure what to identify as, that's okay! You're definitely not the only one. Just do you.
I love how you've opened up about this topic, because it's not something I've seen or heard much of myself through blogging as of yet x
ReplyDeletewww.sheintheknow.co.uk
I'd noticed that too! Polysexuality isn't talked about much at all and I know that if I'd found posts like this a few years ago they would've made me feel so much better about feeling confused :')
DeleteHaha I love it. Straight to the point and very clear for people who are confused with terms etc. It must be so frustrating to have to deal with people forever asking questions, I know I'd get so annoyed. Also, why do people care so much? Aren't there more pressing issues in the world. Your achievements/choices/decisions are not based on whether you fancy Brad, Angelina or both! I think it's great that you're posting about this, very brave and important. Really loved reading this post & looking forward to keeping up with your blog :) xxxxx
ReplyDeletehttp://gbeautyblog.blogspot.co.uk/
Thank you! I was unsure about whether talking about this would help or hinder me but I'm really glad I did. A post like this would've made me feel so much better a few years ago, so if I can help even one person who needs a bit of reassurance then I'm happy. I'm with you on your other points, there really are more important thing to be worrying about and my sexuality isn't nearly the most interesting thing about me. Thanks for letting me know that you enjoyed it :')
DeleteI really liked this post! I don't believe in label either, at the end of the day, you fall for people because of their personality; not their genitalia.
ReplyDeleteHolly x
bisoushollyolivia.blogspot.co.uk
Exactly! Glad you liked it :')
DeleteI agree!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts
ReplyDeleteCANDICE | BEAUTY CANDY LOVES
Glad to hear that I'm not the only one! Thank you for commenting :')
DeleteI love how honest you are in this post. You've written it so well, making it easy to understand the point that you are trying to get across.
ReplyDeleteLabels shouldn't matter, as long as you're happy with whoever you're with, then it really doesn't matter what gender they are!!
Courtney | http://courtzmelv.com
Thank you so much! I was worried that I'd put it badly which I really didn't want to do as it's such a huge, important topic to me. Everything you've said means so much to me x
DeleteI love how straight to the point and honest you are with this post - definitely the best way to get your point across. Enjoyed reading!
ReplyDeleteThe Velvet Black // UK Style & Beauty Blog
Thank you so much! I was afraid that I'd butchered it to be honest but I'm so glad to hear that so many people enjoyed it :')
DeleteI FUCKING LOVE THIS. I don't get why people have to be put into categories! Love is love and as far as my opinion goes fuck whoever you want babe! Don't understand why this post isn't circling the internet by now - it's fab!
ReplyDeleteagingerblondie.blogspot.co.uk
Thank you so much! I hadn't seen a post like this anywhere yet so I thought I'd give it a go. So happy to see all of the positive feedback :')
DeleteIt really pisses me off that people assume that if someone is bi then they go for anything with a pulse. As Emma said love is love and that should be the end of it. Great post x
ReplyDeletewww.kirstytalks.co.uk
Loved reading this. I've never understood why we have a need as humans to label everything, even when it's something as incorporeal as love or sex. Why can't we just feel what we do without the need to question it? This was so straight to the point and great x
ReplyDeleteMartha Jane | http://www.marthajanemusic.com
I'm in total agreement with you! I don't feel like people need to be labelled at all. Thank you for your lovely comment! :')
DeleteThis is a great post! I am a very femme lesbian so my sexuality is called into question a lot, so I empathize. However, I don't want to be one of those gays who busts in and thinks they understand the bi/pansexuality community's struggle. I know that it's very different from what I go through. At the end of the day people can make jokes about "turning" me all they want, but there isn't the same kind of erasure that Bs in LGBTQ receive.
ReplyDeleteAlso I love when straight people say I can't refer to myself as a dyke. No, YOU can't refer to anyone as a dyke, straight people! I can do what I want hehehe.
Aisling | aisybee.
THANK YOU. That's something else that I was a lil too scared to write, that sometimes gays play a game of "who's more oppressed" but stay quiet when they're the focus of everything eg "gay marriage", "gay rights" and it gets really disheartening to feel like you're not taken seriously. I'm also with you on having your secuality questioned for being femme! I'm always very made up and girly and so am assumed to have a preference for penises when in fact it's the other way around. I LOVE being told what I can and can't call myself by straight people who have no idea. It's actually pretty hilarious. Thank you for the positive feedback! I was pretty nervous to post this but now I'm SO glad I did :')
DeleteI love this post, most people are afraid to talk about things like this so I admire you for doing so! Don't be afraid to be who you are girl x
ReplyDeletedaniellelgreaves.blogspot.co.uk
I'm so glad you liked it! I wasn't completely sure I'd made my point when I posted it so seeing so much positive feedback has really made me feel secure :')
DeleteThis was a great, honest post shedding some more light on the topic of sexuality. I think not everyone can fit in a stereotypical label and that's totally fine. :)
ReplyDelete- Wildfire Charm
Thank you! Glad I got my point across effectively :')
Delete